Balanced Insight

A few days earlier I took a surprise trip to the sea (Black Sea). The trip lasted about two and a half hours, and by the time I reached the shore thr sunset had already passed and the night was gently settling in. As a first timer to the sea I felt that call, the same call as at the mountains, driving me to get into nature more and more.

As I walked down the shore, the endless blackness was welcoming me in such a way that I just couldn’t help myself and stepped gently off the shore into the waves. With each wave hitting me I felt more alive, though slightly different as to when I was close to the cascades in the mountains. However, walking down the shore, I was contemplating what drives the waves to move, and the flight of the flock of birds. They are not moving together in a specific order, similar to a snake’s directional crawl or to the turns of the train. Precisely, they are moving as one. And that, right there, struck me still. What if…

If we are the sum of our body’s cellular interaction, which works together with the external environment and, implicitly, with the internal one, and this sum has its own influences from this interaction as a result of the molecular exchange, between the cells, and, in the same way, an exchange of the info between atoms, which in turn are influenced by cosmic radiations, particles and gravity pulls (by this including the influence from our own planet), where is the freewill in all of this ?

Similar to a flock of birds or flies which are flying in tandem and they change direction simultaneously, all in the same time as one, in the same manner we exist too, as an organism, which thinks, acts and moves as a result of the endless interactions between the particles inside of us. Having said that, who or what is leading the movement of the flock ? One answer might be the external environment through atomic and subatomic interactions.

But I tend to say that…. the Universe is doing all of this, and still, this means we are nothing, born out of nothingness and lead to it, as a wave into an ocean. It unsettles me this one, mainly because if I use reason and logic to understand it, the conclusion resulted is that the idea of conscience is just that, an abstract, a concept, something not real in a physical way. However, if I use my sense of feelings (based on an empirical system), I come to think that I’m part of a whole which posesses real conscience, not limited to or by an abstract concept.

So… either we don’t have the capacity or instruments to measure and determine the existence of a conscience or energy in order to understand what exactly are we, either it doesn’t exist and it’s actually just a complex system of information that exists only at an electrical level in our synapses, same as the higgs boson field.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I felt fear at that moment, and it was terrifying. I felt the fear of death, which is the fear of unknown. But now I got the meaning behind it. When feeling the fear of death, we are not afraid of the unknown, because we have a feeling that there is something out there, even though we don’t know it yet (thus, the “expected unknown“). No, we are in fact, in this situation, afraid of non-existence, of fading from existence, of dissapearing.

After a few minutes I continued to analyse the details of those arguments, and found that whatever is driving those particles to move and interact, at least at the first point, has to have an intention. So, in that new order of ideas, I found a resemblance with the Interstellar scene (in which Cooper was interacting with the gravity field of Murph’s room) and the way our atoms’ and particles’ interactions.

What if we are, in fact, like avatars of a superdimensional being, and this is all but a simulation, and everything that is happening now and how we perceive it it’s in this way because of how this Universe is built ? Meaning, if this is a simulation, and the Creator or the Whole is just a superdimensional being that is coordinating our movements, in the same way we can coordinate the moovement and interactions… of a trillion characters from a game. In such case, the platform upon the game is created would need a complex structure and system that would support infinite possibilities, kind of a binary code?

In the same idea, this being would be the one that’s coordinating us and everything in the same time, and the system we are part of would be the source code which guarantees the existence of this reality.

In this case, we have no freewill, because we, and everything around us, don’t even exist. We’re just the reality projection of an intention, upon we are acting as one.

This insight brought me closer to everything that is around me. Being the same as a wave, rock, air, a human and so forth, is an uplifting feeling. Like a wave getting up and then collapsing. Like a particle existing and interacting only when measured, and not being a sure thing before measurement. Like a balance. Like Yang. And Ying.

However, I have to remind the reader that this is just a thought, a personal insight, through which I do not intend to persuade anyone into following it. It’s merely an experience from which the reader is invited to reflect upon and have his own.

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